Years ago, it was understood that if this was your second wedding, the proper thing to do was to sneak off and tie the knot without a lot of fanfare.  No invitations were sent out, no special wedding gown was worn and no gifts were expected.  Nowadays, probably because it has become more and more commonplace, planning a second wedding differs only slightly from the first.

Despite popular belief, white wedding gowns are perfectly acceptable even if this is not your first marriage, with the one exception of a wedding dress with a long formal train.  Although white originally was a symbol of innocence and purity, today it has become more a symbol of joy.  The wedding veil is also appropriate if you choose to wear one. 

The areas where planning a second marriage would differ the most deal more with engagement announcements, gift registries, bridal showers and wedding costs.  Formally announcing your engagement is still considered improper if this is your second marriage.  Gift registries should also be avoided if this is your second marriage.  However, if this is your first marriage and your fiance’s second, it is fine to register for gifts. 

Bridal showers usually are not thrown for anyone other than the first time bride.  Since the purpose of a shower is to help the bride furnish her new home, it no longer is necessary in subsequent marriages.  If your friends or your fiance’s relatives would like to throw you a party, you should make it clear that gifts are not expected.

The bride and groom are expected to pick up the entire tab for the second wedding.  If the bride’s parents offer to pay, there is nothing wrong with accepting their generosity, however, you should never ask them to foot the bill for another wedding.

Whether or not to allow smoking at your reception is a subject you’ll probably have to deal with.  Unless you or your fiance is a smoker, you may desire to ban smoking at your reception for health reasons.  This is your choice and you shouldn’t need to worry about offending anyone with this decision.  Today, most smokers have accepted the fact that there are restrictions on when and where they are allowed to light up.

The best way to let your guests know of this decision is simply to remove all ashtrays from your reception tables.  If you feel this is not enough of a deterrent, you may want to place small ‘No Smoking’ signs on each table.  It is never acceptable to include this information on a wedding invitation.

Out of consideration for your smoking guests, be sure there is a designated smoking area where they may go.  Check with your reception hall to make sure they provide smoking areas with the proper ashtray facilities.  Some sites may have strict policies against smoking anywhere on the reception location.  If this is the case, and you feel many of your guests will want the ability to smoke, may want to look into another facility.

Having your wedding on January 1st is a wonderful way to celebrate the beginning of a new year as well as your new life together.  It also has the added benefit of being able to easily remember your anniversary.

As long as you give your guests plenty of notice, there shouldn’t be any reason why a New Year’s wedding would be difficult for people to attend.  After all, with the Christmas rush behind them, most people are ready to kick back and have a good time.  Why not let it be your wedding that they celebrate?!  If you’re concerned that your guests may still be recovering from a New Year’s Eve party, try having a late night wedding on December 31st and be pronounced man and wife at the stroke of midnight.

If your decorate your reception hall in keeping with your New Year’s theme, the cost can easily be held to a minimum.  Balloons, confetti, streamers all work well into this type of theme.  Your wedding favors can also continue the New Year’s theme.  Give your guests a ‘Let’s Celebrate’ Champagne Ice Bucket Timer as a thank-you gift and they’ll always be sure to remember your special day.

If your wedding is late at night, most of your guests will have already eaten dinner, so late night hors d’oeuvres and finger sandwiches may be sufficient for a reception menu.  Keep in mind, however, that the bar bill will more than make up for what you save on food at this particular time of year.  In order to keep this cost down, and out of concern for your guests’ safety, consider having a cash bar, which is becoming more and more acceptable.  If you really feel you want to provide an open bar, limit it to the first hour and then serve champagne for the remainder of the reception.

Whether you’ve jumped on the ‘Go Green’ bandwagon or not, you have to admit, the idea of eco-friendly alternatives has caught on big time.  It is now very much in vogue to serve an organic menu at your reception.  In fact, many caterers now offer organics as an option in their menu selection.  Of course, as with any trend, it comes at a price; normally 10 - 20% more than traditional menus.

There are other ways, however, to put a little ‘green’ into your wedding without taking too much ‘green’ out of your wallet.  As with every theme, begin at the beginning - the invitations.  Consider using recycled paper printed with organic soy ink.  Even cutting down on the traditional double envelope invitation will help to save some trees in the long run.  Don’t try to pack all of your information into a single invitation.  Instead, set up a wedding website that gives all the details such as hotel information, reception location, directions, and phone numbers.  You can even have a place where your guests can RSVP online, thereby cutting down on the paper RSVP’s and the postage.

Have your wedding and reception at the same location.  Many churches have kitchens and fellowship halls that work nicely for receptions.  This way people don’t need to put extra miles on their cars or extra carbon emissions into the air driving from a wedding to a reception site.  Often the cost is much lower as well, since renting of a special reception hall can be quite expensive.

Decorate with potted plants instead of fresh cut flowers and donate them to a retirement center or hospital after the wedding.  Your wedding favors can also be earth friendly.  Plantable wedding favors are the perfect ‘green’ gift to give those who attend your wedding. 

As you leave your reception, consider having your guests use biodegradable wedding poppers instead of rice.  Today many reception locations frown on rice and even birdseed, not so much for their environmental effects, but for safety reasons as someone may slip and fall. 

Going ‘green’ is definitely gaining in popularity and if you’re one who feels strongly about eco-friendly ideas, it doesn’t take much to put them into practice, even at a wedding.

It comes as a shock to many couples planning their reception that tipping is a part of the cost that needs to be counted.  People who provide professional wedding services, such as caterers, waiters, bartenders, chauffeurs, djs,  or parking attendants often expect some form of gratuity.  Some of them may even include a gratuity in their fee.  Although tipping should never be considered a required thing, there are always guidelines to help those who desire to tip.

* If you’re hiring a band and you feel their performance was more than expected, the normal tip runs about $25 per band member.  Djs receive 15-20% of their fee.

* Bartenders receive 15-20% of the total bar bill, unless their gratuity was included in their contract.  If this is the case, and you’d still like to show your gratitude for a job well done, a 10% tip is sufficient.  Bartenders should never be allowed to accept tips from your guests at a reception.  Have them display a ‘No Tipping’ sign.

* Caterers usually include their gratuity in their contracts as well.  However, exceptional service may merit an additional $1 - $2 per guest, if you desire.  The waiting staff may also receive up to 15-20% of the total food bill.

* Other wedding services such as parking attendants, restroom staff, or coat check persons may recieve $1 - $2 per guest or vehicle.  They should not be allowed to accept tips from your reception guests.

Wedding professionals like florists, bakers and photographers are not tipped, but are paid a flat cost agreed to prior to their services.  Your officiant should never be tipped, but should also receive a flat fee.  If you really feel you’d like to tip your minister, a donation may be made to their church.

As always, remember that tips are never required, but are an additional reward for exceptional service.  The amount, therefore, when all is said and done, is really up to you, and should reflect the type of service you feel that you’ve received.

Questions often arise about seating etiquette for the head table.  Typically the head table is reserved for the bride, groom and the wedding attendants.  The best man sits beside the groom, the maid of honor will sit beside the bride.  Bridesmaids, groomsmen and ushers then sit on alternating sides of the newlyweds.  If you have children in your wedding party, they should sit with their parents at a regular table.

Parents of the bride and groom will sit at separate tables from the wedding party.  These tables are normally arranged close to the head table.  Both sets of parents may sit together or they may prefer having their own table they would share with close friends, immediate members of their family or the officiant of the wedding and his wife.

The head table should always be set with placecard holders so the wedding party will know where they are expected to sit.  Unless you’re having a formal wedding, the head table is the only one required to have place card holders.

Making up a guest list can often times be quite stressful.  Here are a few tips that may help to make that job easier.

Decide on a budget.  Knowing how much you can spend and how much the caterer will charge per person will determine the number of people that you’re able to invite.  It is perfectly proper to invite some guests to the wedding without inviting them to the reception.  You’ll need to order separate reception cards and include these cards only in the invitations of those who are invited to the reception.  Omit this card from those who are not invited to the reception.

Split the guest list 50/50.  Unless one of you has far fewer relatives and friends, it usually works best to allow the bride’s family to make up half of the guest list and the groom’s family to do the same.

Although you are never required to invite children, you should always be sure to include the ’significant other’ of any guest that is invited.  It is not required to invite ‘dates’ for single guests.

If you need to cut down on the number of people you invite, try omitting children.  This is accomplished by simply not putting the childrens’ names on the invitation.  But make your ‘no children’ policy known to those who may be asked, such as your parents, attendants, etc.  You can also omit business associates or coworkers from your guest list unless they are very good friends.  Distant relatives are another omission possibility.

If you are receiving many regrets from your first mailing of invitations, it is perfectly acceptable to do a second mailing.  Be sure you are giving your invited guests ample time to respond.

The reception is when your wedding favors will be handed out to your guests.  Be sure you have ordered enough to give to everyone who has been invited to attend this part of your special day.  It is not required to give wedding favors to those who have not been invited to the reception.

Unlike the bridal shower, the bridesmaid tea or luncheon is a chance for the bride to dote a little on her attendants.  This should never be considered an optional event.  It is an opportunity for the bride to express her appreciation for all that her attendants have been doing for her during the past few months. 

Typically the bridesmaid luncheon should be held the weekend before the wedding.  This is especially essential if any of your attendants work during the week and would find it difficult to attend a weekday party.  The tea or luncheon is a private party, hosted by the bride for the her maid of honor and bridesmaids.  Be sure to include any attendants that may be from out of town, even if it means that you need to hold the tea on the day before the wedding.

The cost of the bridesmaid tea is handled by the bride herself.  A gift for each bridesmaid should also be given as a token of appreciation for all that the bridesmaids have done for her.  Use this time to let your attendants know just how much they mean to you.

Do you love the idea of a beach theme wedding and reception, but aren’t real crazy about taking a chance on the variables such as blistering temperatures, sky-high humidity and unexpected rainshowers?  Here’s an alternative that you may want to check into.

Consider holding your wedding and/or reception at an aquarium.  There are several aquariums around the country that have banquet rooms cozy enough for a party of 50 and large enough to accomodate up to 500 people.  Just a few of the states that have aquariums that cater to weddings and receptions are: Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, North Carolina, New Jersey, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South Carolina and Tennessee.  Do an online search in your particular area to see if there is an aquarium located near you.

Being located in Georgia, I’ve done a little checking with the Georgia Aquarium.  You can choose your own caterer or you can use the aquarium’s famous caterer, Wolfgang Puck.  Meals range from ‘coffee break’ type foods and hors d’oeuvres, to buffets and exotic sit-down dinners.  The prices, as  of the writing of this article, start at $5 per person and can go as high as $75 per person, so it’s fairly easy to fit into your budget and style.  Informal weddings, as well as extremely formal elegant weddings fit well into this aquarium’s atmosphere.

The best part of this type of beach theme wedding is the scenery.  Rooms are lined with gigantic windows peering into the aquarium itself.  Whales, sharks and other exotic aquatic animals happily join your celebration as they give an ever-changing backdrop to your reception room.  Plus, by holding your event at an aquarium, there’s no need to wait on warmer weather to be able to incorporate your beach theme.

As you know, theme weddings are a great way to plan a wedding and reception.  It gives you a ’springboard’ from which to start when deciding on the many details of a wedding.  One of the easiest and most versatile theme is the use of color.  You can choose one color or a color combination that you’re particularly fond of.

A color theme wedding doesn’t confine you to specific types of decorations, style of gowns, or menu selection.  But it will allow you to express your own individual unique personality in everything you plan.  As an example, let’s say you want to plan a wedding using the traditional white (bride) and black (groom) colors with a splash of red.

As I’ve said before, begin at the beginning.  Incorporate those colors, especially the red, into your wedding invitations.  A lovely red rose or heart would be a nice start.  HINT:  When ordering the invitations, don’t forget to also order matching thank you cards.  This continues the theme all the way to the end. 

Use these same colors in the wedding attire.  One of the most striking wedding party pictures I’ve ever seen was with the bride in white carrying a red bouquet and the bridesmaids in red carrying white bouquets.  

Extend the color theme to the reception featuring specialty drinks.    Talk with your caterer about creating drinks, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic, using fruits like strawberries or raspberries to give these specialty drinks the color of your theme.

Adorn the wedding party table and the reception tables with touches of red in the centerpieces and the wedding favors.  Make a request of the wedding party decorating committee that red and white be used when adorning the getaway car.