Picking out your wedding favors can be the most enjoyable part of planning your wedding.  You can literally spend hours browsing through all the adorable favors that are available today. 

Once you’ve chosen those perfect favors for your dream wedding, consider finding a favor to give out at your rehearsal dinner as well.  No matter how elegant your wedding will be, the favors you choose for the rehearsal dinner can be just plain fun.  You can coordinate them with any theme, or they can be totally unrelated.  After months of hard work and planning, this is the time for a well-deserved evening of relaxation.  Let yourself be a little silly with your favors.  Then share that silliness with your friends and family!

When purchasing gifts for your bridesmaids or groomsmen, personalization is a great way to express your love and gratitude.  It shows your attendants that you’ve put a little more thought, time and effort into choosing their gifts.  Whether you choose to personalize their gifts with their entire name or just monogram it with their initials, it turns an ordinary present into a true gift from the heart.

For your groomsmen, consider giving items such as keychains, Swiss Army Knives, tie tacs, or pens engraved with their names.  Any bridesmaid would love personalized items such as cosmetic travel cases, jewelry cases, flip flops, or tote bags.

Personalization adds that little something extra that will make whatever you choose to give a wonderful keepsake.

Beyond the ‘Bride’s family on the left ~ Groom’s family on the right’ seating standard, there are a couple additional rules that should be followed in order to maintain total adherence to the wedding ceremony seating etiquette. 

Parents are always seated in the front row, with siblings in the second row and grandparents in the third row.  Additional close relatives and close friends then begin to be seated in the fourth row.  If you have very special friends or relatives that you would like to be seated within the first few rows, you may specify ‘in the ribbons’ on their invitation.  This signifies to your guest that they are allowed to sit in the rows that have been sectioned off with ribbons.

If your parents are divorced, the seating becomes a little more complicated depending on whether your parents have remained amicable after their divorce.  Typically, the mother has the honor of sitting in the first row.  Your father may sit in the second row if your parents still get along.  However, if ill feelings exist, it may be wise to seat your father a few rows back.  If either of them have remarried, their spouses should sit beside them.

Guests should always be seated in the order they arrive.  Any guests that arrive just before the ceremony begins will find no groomsman to escort them to their seat.  In this case, they should seat themselves quietly in the back of the church.  The mothers of the bride and groom are always seated last, just before the ceremony begins.

If you’ve ever attended a wedding, you may have been asked by the groomsman whether you were a friend of the bride or the groom.  This is in order to seat you on the correct side of the church.  Although, not etched in stone, it is traditional at a Christian wedding for the bride’s family and friends to be seated on the left-hand side of the church, while the groom’s family and friends sit on the right.  The opposite is true for Reform and Conservative Jewish weddings.  Traditionally, men and women are separated in an Orthodox Jewish ceremony.

This seating arrangement works well when the wedding takes place in the city where both the bride and groom live and the attendance from both sides is fairly equal.  However, many times this is not the case.  The bride and groom may be from totally different areas of the country, or perhaps you’ve decided on a destination wedding.  Whatever the reason, if the guests from one side will overwhelm the guests from the other, you may want to do away with this seating custom and just have your guests sit where they choose.  This will help to spread your guests out more evenly and create a more balanced look in the church for your wedding pictures.

When it comes to choosing those who will stand up with you during your wedding, the ‘rules’ are fairly non-existent.  Aside from not wanting more people standing up in the wedding than sitting down in the audience, you can pretty much determine the size of your wedding party without fear of breaking any ‘wedding party etiquette’.

A good guideline to consider is that you’ll want at least one usher for every 50 guests.  Of course, you can always have more, but fewer ushers may make it more difficult for those ushers you do have to perform their job properly.  Corresponding the number of bridesmaids to the number of ushers will even things out, but there’s no rule that says it’s necessary.

You will want to have consideration for the people you ask to be in your wedding party.  For instance, if your maid of honor is pregnant, it may be difficult for her to fulfill all the jobs that will be expected of her.  In this case, you may want to consider asking a co-maid of honor to share the responsibilities.  Having a co-maid of honor will help if the wedding date and her due date are too close and she is unable to attend the wedding.  This also works well if you have two best friends, or sisters, and you can’t decide between them for the position of maid of honor. 

If your best friend is a guy, you may even ask him to be your honor attendant (men are never referred to as maids of honor).  It is just as acceptable for the groom to have a female usher.  In these situations, however, they are not required to fulfill the same job responsibilities.  For instance, a female usher should not escort guests to their seats and a male honor attendant should not be escorted by a groomsman.  He should either walk down the aisle solo, or escort another bridesmaid.

Since being a wedding attendant can be costly, try to also be sensitive to your friends’ financial ability. 

As the groom, it is customary to show your appreciation to your Best Man, groomsmen and ushers with a gift.  Like the job of bridesmaid, being a groomsmen does require a fair amount of commitment and expense, so a show of gratitude is appropriate. 

Some grooms like to give their attendants something that will be used during the ceremony such as a tie tac or cuff-links.  Others may like the idea of giving a more practical gift.  Gifts like Leatherman® tools or Victorinox Swiss Army® Knives are practical and can often be personalized. 

After deciding on what you’ll give to your groomsmen, plan a special guys’ night out to present them with their gifts.  It may be more convenient to just hand everyone their thank-you gift at your bachelor’s party, but this really isn’t appropriate since others will be in attendance besides your groomsmen.  Set aside a day or evening and plan a special activity ~ golfing, camping, watching football, whatever everyone enjoys.  Make the presentation of their gifts as memorable as the gift itself.

Looking for something just a little different for that bachelor party you’re hosting?  I found this incredibly easy recipe in an old Wilton’s magazine that is perfect.  Originally, it was a birthday sandwich cake, but with the ‘beer’ candles, it just screams ‘bachelor party!’  This hearty “cake” will be a hit with the groom and all your fellow groomsmen.

Ingredients

1 loaf (1 lb.) frozen whole wheat bread dough, thawed
1/4 lb. each thinly sliced roast beef, turkey and ham
1/4 lb. each thinly sliced provolone, Swiss and cheddar cheese
1 jar (6oz.) roasted red peppers, drained
1/2 c. radish (or other) sprouts
4 - 5 large leaves of leaf lettuce
Butter, softened
Horseradish to taste
Mayonnaise
Honey mustard
3 packages (8 oz. each) cream cheese, softened
Stuffed green olives
Black olives (optional)
Wilton Beer Can Candles

Directions

Spray 8″ round (3″ deep) cake pan with non-stick spray.  Form dough into 8 inch loaf; press into pan.  Cover and let rise 1 - 1 1/2 hours or until doubled in bulk.  Bake at 350 degrees for 20 - 25 minutes or until bread sounds hollow when tapped.  Cool 5 minutes; remove from pan.  Cool thoroughly.  Cut horizontally into 4 equal slices.  To assemble ‘cake’:  Line same pan with plastic wrap, letting enough wrap hang over sides to wrap bread.  Spread bottom slice of bread with butter and horseradish; top with roast beef, provolone cheese and roasted red peppers.  Spread second slice of bread with butter and horseradish and place it butter/horseradish-side down, over roast beef layer.  Spread top of this second bread slice with mayonnaise; top with turkey, Swiss cheese and sprouts.  Spread third slice of bread with mayonnaise and place, mayonnaise-side down, over turkey layer.  Spread top of this third bread slice with honey mustard; top with lettuce, ham and cheddar cheese.  Spread cut side of loaf top (fourth slice) with honey mustard and place, mustard-side down, over ham layer.  Place assembled “cake” in plastic wrap-lined pan and bring wrap up around “cake” to cover.  Refrigerate 3 - 4 hours or overnight.  (To make “cake” more compact and easier to ice, during refrigeration place a large pan over top of the 8-inch pan and weigh it down with heavy objects such as cans of food.)  To ice “cake”, beat cream cheese with electric mixer until light and fluffy.  Remove “cake” from pan and place on serving board.  Spread top and sides of cake with cream cheese.   Garnish with alternating green and black olives, or if you feel really creative, you can pipe a shell border along the bottom edge using a decorator’s bag and shell tip.  Top with Beer Can Candles.

Serves 6 - 8.

Courtesy of Wilton Magazine 1995
www.wilton.com

Being asked to be a groomsman in your friend’s wedding is a wonderful honor and can also be a lot of fun.  The position of groomsman doesn’t require a great deal of time or money, but there are commitments that you need to know about before accepting.

Your job description includes:
     *  Helping the groom chose his tuxedo.
     *  Attend the trip to the formal-wear shop to pick out your tuxedo.
     *  Be responsible for any necessary fittings or alteration costs.
     *  Be available to help in any other way the groom may need you.
     *  If a ‘couple’s shower’ is thrown, be sure to attend.
     *  Help the Best Man plan the bachelor party.
     *  Attend rehearsal.
     *  Help bridal party decorate the couple’s car before the ceremony.

During & after the wedding ceremony, you may:
     *  Be asked to serve as an usher seating the guests.
     *  Stand with the Groom, Best Man, and other groomsmen in front during the
         ceremony.
     *  Stand in receiving line after the ceremony.

During the reception, you may:
     *  Sit at the head table with the rest of the bridal party.
     *  Be asked to participate in the first dance.

Most of all, just enjoy this special time of ‘hanging out with the guys’.  Being a good groomsman is nothing more than being a good friend.