Years ago, it was understood that if this was your second wedding, the proper thing to do was to sneak off and tie the knot without a lot of fanfare.  No invitations were sent out, no special wedding gown was worn and no gifts were expected.  Nowadays, probably because it has become more and more commonplace, planning a second wedding differs only slightly from the first.

Despite popular belief, white wedding gowns are perfectly acceptable even if this is not your first marriage, with the one exception of a wedding dress with a long formal train.  Although white originally was a symbol of innocence and purity, today it has become more a symbol of joy.  The wedding veil is also appropriate if you choose to wear one. 

The areas where planning a second marriage would differ the most deal more with engagement announcements, gift registries, bridal showers and wedding costs.  Formally announcing your engagement is still considered improper if this is your second marriage.  Gift registries should also be avoided if this is your second marriage.  However, if this is your first marriage and your fiance’s second, it is fine to register for gifts. 

Bridal showers usually are not thrown for anyone other than the first time bride.  Since the purpose of a shower is to help the bride furnish her new home, it no longer is necessary in subsequent marriages.  If your friends or your fiance’s relatives would like to throw you a party, you should make it clear that gifts are not expected.

The bride and groom are expected to pick up the entire tab for the second wedding.  If the bride’s parents offer to pay, there is nothing wrong with accepting their generosity, however, you should never ask them to foot the bill for another wedding.

What does the best dressed groom wear these days?  It all depends on the wedding ~ where it will take place, the basic style of the wedding and, of course, the time of day.  Let’s start with the ‘when’.

The time of year, as well as the time of day that the wedding will take place will have an effect on what the groom will wear.  Darker suits or tuxedos work well with evening weddings, or fall and winter weddings, whereas lighter colored suits are great for spring and summer weddings. 

The ‘where’ is equally important.  No one expects the groom to wear a tuxedo for a beach themed wedding.  A nice light-colored linen suit is perfect for this type of wedding.  Informal church weddings should always rank at least a business suit with white shirt and tie. 

The style of the wedding is also a major factor when choosing the appropriate groom’s attire.  If your church wedding is a semi-formal occasion, add a cummerbund or vest and a bow-tie to your suit or tuxedo.  Formal weddings can require anything from dinner jackets and waistcoats to black tie and tails.  Military dress uniforms can also be worn if the groom is in the service. 

Choosing the perfect groom’s attire really isn’t very complicated after all is said and done.  The best rule of thumb is to consider the style of the bride’s gown and choose a suit or tuxedo in keeping with that same style. 

The mothers of the bride and groom will often spend much time in the choice of their wedding day attire.  Their dresses should complement each other in style and color since both families will pose for wedding pictures together. 

Traditionally, the mother-of-the-bride is to choose her gown first.  The guidelines for purchasing a mother’s dress are fairly simple.  First, you’ll want the gown to fit in with the wedding colors.  They do not need to match exactly.  For example, if the bridesmaids are dressed in deep burgundy, a mother’s dress in a lighter rose color would look lovely.  Unless you’re having a black & white theme wedding, the mothers should never wear white.  This color is reserved strictly for the bride.

Secondly, the style of the dress should be in keeping with the basic style of the wedding.  You won’t want to wear a short dress or pantsuit for a formal wedding, or a sequined evening gown for an informal beach wedding.  Don’t settle; be sure the style is flattering to your figure.  After all, the bride isn’t the only one who wants to look her best that day. 

Once the bride’s mother has chosen her dress, it is her responsibility to touch base with the mother-of-the-groom, so she can choose her dress in a similar style, length and color.  Mother’s dresses do not need to match, but they should complement each other.

When it comes to shopping for your mother’s dress, the best rule of thumb is to start looking for that special dress as early as possible.  The perfect dress is available; give yourself plenty of time to find it.

After you’ve found that perfect dress, don’t forget to accessorize with the perfect jewelry.  You don’t need to go overboard here.  A matching necklace and earring set will accentuate your wedding gown nicely and you won’t look ‘over-done’. 

If you’ve chosen a more elaborate wedding dress, try to keep your jewelry on the simple side.  A small simple pendant and matching earrings of pearls, diamonds or crystals would work well and look very elegant.  The opposite is also true.  You can afford to ‘dress up’ your bridal attire with double strands of pearl or a ‘y-drop’ crystal necklace if your wedding dress is less ornate.  Pearls and crystals are also available in many colors so you can even coordinate your jewelry with your wedding color scheme.  The key is to not go overboard.  Youshould be the focus of everyone’s attention ~ not your jewelry.

Some brides know the exact style of wedding dress they want before they even start looking.  Others can’t decide until they’ve tried on every gown in the shop.  There is one thing that all brides have in common when it comes to their gown, however ~ no dress fits perfectly straight off the hangar.  Fittings are essential and you’ve got to leave plenty of time for those fittings to be done. 

Ideally, you should begin shopping for your dress no later than 1 year before the wedding, but 6 - 9 months will work if you’re diligent to keep on top of your fittings.  Once you’ve decided on your dress, you will be measured and your dress will be ordered.  It should be scheduled to be delivered within 3 - 6 months prior to the big day.  Be sure to call your bridal dress shop a month after your dress has been ordered to confirm the delivery day.  You may be able to set up an appointment for your first fitting at that time. 

At your first fitting appointment you’ll need to do several things.  Choose a veil and all your accessories if you haven’t already.  Your wedding shoes are necessary in order to hem your dress to the correct length.  You will also want to set up an appointment for your 2nd fitting.  Normally, the first 2 fittings are included in the price of the dress.  If you do require additional fittings, you may be charged a fee per fitting.  Be sure to ask about any additional fees when you order your dress.  Your final fitting should be scheduled no later than 1 month before your wedding.

You can have your dress pressed at this final fitting, however, I would recommend waiting to have your dress and veil pressed until a week before your wedding.  If you’re having a destination wedding, make arrangements with a bridal shop at your wedding location.  If you can find the same bridal vendor at that location, the pressing should be done at no additional charge. 

A little organization and ample time is all it takes to make that ‘perfect’ wedding dress fit perfectly.

There are five basic lengths of veils most often used for weddings.  Whichever style you choose, it should complement the style of your wedding gown.

They are:

Blusher Veil ~ very short, made long enough to just cover the face; can also be combined with a longer veil layer.

Shoulder Veil ~ worn with a short dress or informal gown or to emphasize detail on the back of the gown; can also be combined with a longer veil layer.

Waltz Veil ~ elbow length, worn with a short informal gown or for a formal daytime wedding.

Fingertip Veil ~between elbow length and floor length; worn with a long gown, for semi-formal or formal weddings.

Chapel Veil ~ floor length, worn with a long gown, for semi-formal or formal weddings.

Courtesy of Bridal Crafts Magazine 1997

Shopping for your wedding dress is one of the first things you’ll want to do once you become engaged.  It’s fun and exciting!  The shock comes when you see those price tags.  Today wedding dresses can range anywhere from $500 - $15,000, with the average price falling between $1,500 - $2,500.  Don’t get too discouraged too quickly, however.  There are ways to try to trim that price tag down.

1.)  If you are good at sewing or know someone who is, check out trying to have your dress handmade. 

2.)  Consider wearing your mother’s or grandmother’s wedding dress.  Even if it needs alterations, it’s much less expensive than buying new.

3.)  Keep it simple.  Choosing dresses with intricate lacework or hand beading with add substantially to the cost. 

4.)  Try shopping ’sample sales’ where dress shops will drastically discount floor samples. 

5.)  Consider shopping at consignment shops.  Many of these shops have wedding dresses that have never been worn.  Look on ebay.  Consider renting a dress.

6.)  Try to visit bridal dress shops during their off hours. They will be more willing to work with you to find an affordable dress if they’re not busy trying to help other customers.

7.)  Simple alterations are an easy and affordable way to turn an ‘nice’ dress into a perfect one.  Most wedding dresses need to be hemmed and there is usually a substantial amount of fabric leftover.  This may be used to add sleeves to bare shoulder dresses, create a simple wrap, etc.

Remember, this is a big decision and once your dress has been ordered, most dress shops will not allow returns.  Try on many dresses in many styles before making that final choice.  You’ll want to be sure.  Take your time, shop around, and don’t be afraid to ask questions.  The perfect dress is out there ~ and it doesn’t have to cost a small fortune!

Every bride loves shopping for her wedding gown.  Hours are spent trying on dozens of dresses in various styles until finally that perfect dress appears.  Great care is also taken in the selection of a veil and jewelry.  However, shoes seem to be another story.  Too many brides consider the style of their shoes and neglect to consider the comfort.  This can prove to be a tragic mistake.  The wedding ceremony may only last 30 minutes, but the reception can last for hours.  The last thing you want to be doing on your honeymoon night is soaking your feet!

When looking for the perfect wedding shoes, keep in mind that ‘comfortable’ does not have to be synonymous with ‘ugly’.  You want to be sure to take as much time in the selection of your shoes as you did your wedding dress.  Once you’ve found your shoes, spend a day wearing them around the house in order to break them in.  If you absolutely must have the painfully-pointed toes and the back-breaking 3 1/2 inch heels, then invest in an additional pair of attractive slip-on shoes or white flip-flops to wear at your wedding reception.  ‘Plant’ them under the wedding party’s table before the ceremony so you can discretely switch shoes during the reception.  Trust me; your feet will appreciate it!